I caught anxiety

I caught anxiety the other day, and it was distressing.

Here I was, thinking about my upcoming trip back to Malaysia. "Finally", I thought to myself, "After 3 years, we can go back home." The relief in my mind was intermixed with excitement, but then came something else. As I dropped my 7-year-old to school this morning, I saw the same excitement in her eyes. She loves school. She loves her friends. She loves the fun. The great trifecta to stereotypical childhood.

Yet, as I watched her gain speed with her feet from that very feeling, I began to worry that she might just trip and be injured. Injured so horrendously in fact, that it would inconvenience my own excitement with leaving for our trip. This was the familiar companion rocking my boat. This was and is still, my anxiety.

Being well acquainted with anxiety only highlighted its presence for me. It was slow, but I know it has a habit of creeping up to a gusty encounter. It likes to show itself in, and stay for as long as it likes, like an unwelcomed guest at times. By then, I was displeased with myself. There was a sudden sense of responsibility there, being that I had probably ushered anxiety into this to some degree. It was not poor responsibility, to say the least, but something that I was equally bothered with.

The guest and gust, that anxiety, riddled me with its questions. The ever-so-popular “What if-” swayed my internal dialogue from side to side. It was beginning to tease and mock me with all that worst-case scenarios had to offer my mind. Now, I am no stranger to its trade winds. I am accustomed to its breezes.

So, I took hold of my sails, untied the knots that bind them, and let loose. At once, I was free to move within it. Annoyed as I was, I could try and steer my boat of thoughts. I had now made my unwelcomed guest, a formidable partner in fueling my intentions. Anxiety is neither friend nor foe here. It is an element of my insecurities and uncertainties. What I do with that matters most. My boat sails with the anxious winds, and I know that I have caught something useful. If you would like to know more about anxiety and how to catch it for good use, maybe we can help. Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation here.